


i'm...FEELING!!! OH MY GODDD

by sinigangtrash



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Anniversary, Back From Hiatus, Fluff, Fluffyfest, Gay, M/M, Reflection, Self-Reflection, gayayayay, he's gay istg, memelord alfred, oOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPETY DOOOO, oh my god writing after hiatus, romano is a switch and so is spain, romano is gay, sassy boiiiii
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinigangtrash/pseuds/sinigangtrash
Summary: short spamano fic probably gonna be a few chapters long lol. read if you want to read smth in lovino's pov (not first person though) about the way he feels for antonio. also this is loosely based off canon. its not rated mature because of romano's mouth, but its actually rated mature because there's probably gonna be mentions of their sex life here and there lmaothe title is meant to reflect on how lovino is amazed with how he's actually capable of expressing affection and feeling things other than just being pissed daily. i am sure we all relate. or just me? well thensupposed to take place a few years after that one strip in the manga where spain made that shitty attempt at proposing to romano. here, they've been dating for three years. this is all fluff istg i am a disappointment dw i promise i will write some smut. considering deleting any past fics uploaded on here tho bc they are making me lose brAINCELLS FROM READING THEManyway i hope you enjoy this fic thingy ab my two favorite gays
Relationships: America/England (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia)
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

Every second or so, the phone vibrated on the table – as multiple text message notifications showed up on the screen.

At this point, the phone was having a seizure, goddammit. Lovino gave a sigh of annoyance and unlocked it, scrolling through the new messages in the group chat. Every single one of them was from Alfred. And he kept pinging him, too.

“I told that bastard not to ping me unless it was urgent, dammit,” Lovino grumbled to himself, squinting at the texts.

_[ **memelord al:** So is it true? You guys dating?]_

He rolled his eyes. How many times did he have to repeat himself? And he still didn’t get it?

_[ **lovi:** wtf]_

_[ **lovi:** i already told u lol]_

_[ **lovi:** oh but dont tell anyone pls]_

_[ **memelord al:** why?]_

_[ **lovi:** cos its,,,,not like me to be this in love with a guy. its not in character.]_

_[ **memelord al:** in character? :0]_

_[ **lovi:** yeah I think only everyone in this gc knows but djkahdjhkad yeah]_

Three years ago, his former…

…

…What was the right word for it? Lovino wondered to himself, biting his lip in thought. Boss? Caretaker? Oh, but _caretaker_ sounded weird, dammit. Well, at the time, he was only a child (his growth had, disappointedly, stunted before he was freed), and Spain was physically fifteen when they met. Probably. At around fifteen or sixteen.

Lovino decided that if he was the henchman at that time, then it was probably appropriate to call Spain the ‘boss’.

He silently cursed himself, and let out another sigh. No, not _Spain._ It wasn’t _Spain_ anymore. The man had stopped calling him by his nation name, after all, so it was only appropriate that Lovino did the same.

Anyway, three years ago, Spain – or rather, _Antonio_ – confessed to Lovino that he was in love with him. The bubbly, slightly childish (in a charming way) man had always expressed affection for him from the day they met, but it was always in a more endearing, platonic way – perhaps in the same way a parent would express affection for their child.

But as hundreds of years passed, Lovino started to finally grow up. It came to the point that he was physically about the age of sixteen, and Antonio was probably…eighteen. (Ah, the glory of being nations. You could be centuries old and still look like a fucking _kid,_ dammit.) And in that time, he started to feel…things. Things for Antonio. Not ‘ _you’re such a fucking idiot’_ things, but… _different_ things. Crush things, maybe.

After years of denying it and questioning about it, as soon as he was finally freed from being a damn servant, Lovino finally decided – there was no use in denying it over and over again. He liked the bastard. More than just a friend, more than anything like that.

Like hell he would tell him, though. And so the teenage Lovino decided, that it was not meant to be, that two men could never be together in that way, and that it was something impossible and disgusting. The end. It was just hormones fucking around with him, and it would end soon.

The feelings would just go away.

Or so he thought.

Because many long years later, they reunited. A slightly older Antonio was overjoyed. They were at around the same age now, and it was weird. Or at least, that’s what Lovino thought.

Antonio was more than overjoyed, actually. The bastard was _crying._

And so was Lovino, but he didn’t want Antonio to see, so he didn’t let him. He hid his face when they hugged. Actually, just hugging him after years of not seeing each other was already enough to make him burst into tears. Maybe it was just because he was a massive crybaby, he thought. Lovino was sensitive, ever since he was a child.

But he realized it was so, _so_ much more than just missing Antonio. He wanted to tell him that he was fucking grateful. For too many things, dammit. And that he loved him.

 _“Are you crying?”_ Antonio had asked, after they pulled away from the embrace.

 _“No.”_ But they both knew that was a shitty and sad excuse for a lie. Unless Antonio didn’t know, of course. The bastard was always terrible at reading the atmosphere. Calling him dense was an understatement.

_“I missed you so much.”_

_“I…I…”_

Damn. Why was he so terrible at letting the words out?

**“I…yeah. Me too. I guess.”**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> antonio worries about how lovino's been quiet recently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi if you're still reading this then congratulations. here is 600 words of gay, served up on a small plate. enjoy

“Happy anniversary, darling!” Antonio cheerfully chirped, wrapping his arms around Lovino from behind. “I love you! Here’s to another year of being together!” The younger man turned around and gave a small smile in return.

“Oh. Yeah, you too.” He kissed him on the cheek. “Love ya too. Sorry I’m so shitty and that I suck at showing you that I love you.”

Antonio stopped smiling. “This again?” he pouted. “C’mon, Lovi, you gotta try to, y’know…love yourself!”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“Well, _I do_ think you will!”

“Ohhhhhh _noooooo,_ ” Lovino groaned in mock frustration. “I am defeated. You win. I guess I love myself now.”

Antonio laughed, and ran his fingers through Lovino’s hair. “Hey, seriously though. Is everything alright?” he asked. Lovino bit his lip. There was definitely concern in that tone of his.

“Of course it is, dammit. It’s our anniversary. I’m just fucking around.”

“It’s just…” Antonio exhaled, and sat down on the bed. “We’ve been dating for three years. When we first started dating, you…smiled a lot whenever you were with me. It took a while, but eventually you just gave in and you didn’t care if I saw you smiling. And it made me happy. But then…it just…I don’t know. But if you think there’s something wrong, you can tell me.” He put his hand over Lovino’s, and looked up at him. “Okay? I mean, if you don’t love me as much anymore, or if you’re not comfortable being in this sort of relationship with me…yeah.”

“You…you...!”

Lovino sat down beside him, then swiftly changed his position so that he was on top of Antonio. “Are you fucking _kidding_ me?!” he exclaimed, tugging on his shirt collar, pulling him closer towards him. “Are you _serious?”_

“Lovi-“

“You think I’d be that much of an _asshole_ to just give you the fucking _silent treatment_ if I wasn’t interested in a relationship anymore?!”

“So…you’re still-“

“I’m _still in love with you?”_ Lovino asked, mocking Antonio’s tone. “ _Of course_ I’m still in love with you!” He could feel his face getting hot. “I…I…”

His breath shortening, Lovino sat back down and ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs away from his eyes. Antonio was staring at him, obviously astonished and surprised by the outburst. The younger man shook his head. “I…I’m sorry. I’m sorry, dammit. I didn’t mean to…Fuck.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” his boyfriend replied, giving a small, gentle smile. “It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“It’s because I don’t smile anymore or tell you that I love you as much as I did before, isn’t it?” Lovino asked, his voice growing weaker and more strained. At this point, he was on the verge of tears again. This always happened afterward. To top it all off, after his angry outbursts, he’d just start crying. And he wouldn’t be able to stop it. “You’re…worried. About our relationship.”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t,” Antonio shyly admitted. “I just…want you to be happy.”

“I’ve just…It’s all just self-reflection and shit like that, I promise,” Lovino assured him, trying to steady his breaths. “I’m fine.” He knew the reason Antonio frequently worried about him was because not so long ago, his mental health was always on the verge of collapsing. It wasn’t a good time, and after that, Antonio was always determined to keep Lovino happy, to make sure he was doing alright – to continue to keep asking him about it even if it pissed him off, no matter what.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Antonio gave a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. So, _so,_ glad.”

“You don’t have to worry all the time like that, you know,” Lovino said, frowning. It seemed like Antonio was always so caught up in making sure everyone was doing alright, to the point he’d forget about his own health.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, though!”

“And I know you will,” Lovino snorted. “You don’t need to say it over and over again. Come over here, you idiot.”

“Hm? What are we-“

“ _Shhhh._ This is your cue to shut up, because we’re gonna make out, dammit.”


End file.
